“How much time he gains who does not look to see what his neighbor says or does or thinks, but only at what he does himself, to make it just and holy.” – Marcus Aurelius
Boom.
You just accomplished something, something that you had your eyes set on for quite a while now.
You begin to celebrate your recent success, as your status has just elevated. Immediately, you begin searching up other people on LinkedIn who share similar accomplishments, their achievements possibly being even more impressive than your own.
Bam.
You just improved your physique.
After hours and hours of pain in the gym, you’re now starting to see results. That vision of your dream beach body is getting closer to becoming a reality. Immediately, you begin scrolling through Instagram to look at other people who have similar body types, their *insert body part* possibly being even more defined than your own.
Whether we know it or not, we’re constantly comparing ourselves to other people, and this phenomena is only natural.
Social comparison theory states that we establish a baseline from our peer groups in order to evaluate our own attitudes, abilities, and traits.
Regardless of the thing we’re focused on, we look at people “worse” than us at that thing in order to feel better about ourselves, and we look at people “better” than us at that thing in order to be more inspired.
I don’t know about you, but all I’ve been doing is comparing myself to other people, particularly at my university. Whether it’s socioeconomic status, physical attraction, intelligence, social status, or whatever else–I feel a need to see where I’m at in the hierarchy at all times.
Comparison in itself is neither a good or a bad thing, but there’s definitely a dark side that I’ve been experiencing lately. I’m starting to realize that, no matter how good I think I am at ‘X’, there’s always better.
“Awesome Justin, you’re a student at X? Well it’s not Y, and Y > X on US News, so calm yourself down now.”
“Cool Justin, you’re interning at Z? Well it’s not Q, and people at Q rack in $10,000 more, so chill out now.”
Every single time I upgrade my life, I really just enter into a different hierarchy, and this cycle never stops: the comparison game is everlasting.
As infamous rapper, Meek Mill, would quote: there really are “levels to this sh*t”.
I’m always striving to be better, but this results in me being more discontent, and really, less happy with my life. And thus, I would often think about what the limit is when it comes to my ambition.
At what point is it better to appreciate what you have going for yourself versus striving for the next best thing?
I’m never going to be the most attractive / most intelligent / most wealthy / etc. person in the world, so what’s the point of the extra stress I’m bringing upon myself by aiming at maximizing these things?
There’s nothing wrong with striving for more and it’s something that’s encouraged by successful individuals. But when it’s literally impossible to be the best, then am I just digging a hole for myself?
Honestly, I wish I knew the answer to these questions…Because I don’t.
But somebody else does.
Jordan Peterson, a renowned author and professor, quotes:
“Don’t compare yourself with other people; compare yourself with who you were yesterday.”
Yeah, let’s just end on that.
JL