“Self-improvement is masturbation. Now self-destruction is the answer.” – Tyler Durden (Fight Club)
When viewing my past self, one could easily label me as a self-improvement junkie. At the end of high school, after I got everything taken away from me, it only made sense to turn to self-help gurus to help drown out my sorrows.
Soon enough, names like Anthony Robbins, Napoleon Hill, and Tai Lopez filled up my watch history. Terms like the “Law of Attraction” and “Daily Visualizations” became a part of my vocabulary. I recited my morning and nightly affirmations, I journaled, I read self-help books, I did it all.
If the self-improvement community needed a model, I was exactly that. My habits were transformed, my motivation was heightened, and my soul was actualized. It was this period of my life for when I achieved the largest number of things, so it’s only logical to give all the credit to these self-help gurus, right?
No.
It turns out that I was allowing myself to be deluded.
In the self-improvement community, the theme of finding your passion is apparent in almost every video. I was told to follow my heart, to ignore the naysayers, and other phrases that I’d be better off not hearing…So I did what I was told.
In this past fall semester, I channeled all my excess time and energy into a side project I was working on with a colleague, and although this endeavor granted me a sense of meaning, it ultimately failed and ended up limiting my ability to reach the academic goals I set for myself.
Now is failure a bad thing?
No.
Would I have changed anything if I had a time machine?
No.
But that’s not the point.
The point is that, because of all the content I was consuming, I prioritized a side hustle above my schoolwork–and this was dangerous looking back in hindsight.
More importantly, I realized that self-improvement is just a delusion and that pain is the true source of all growth. But this goes beyond just entrepreneurship versus education or passion versus practicality.
For example, take the world of dating.
There’s a plethora of content out there for both men and women, the majority of which is designed with the purpose of helping the viewer find that person of his or her dreams. Whether it’s the first date, the first breakup, or the first anniversary, there’s a video out there for you.
In the past and in the now, I would watch videos in this realm because I thought they would help my relationship in some way. Because these people have years of experience over me, it’s only logical to value their word above everything else, right?
No.
It turns out that I was allowing myself to be deluded.
In my past relationships, whenever there was a conflict, I would immediately start searching for solutions on the internet. I would prioritize whatever some random guy had to say over my past experiences, my unique dynamic with my partner, and my current branches of knowledge.
When applying the advice I was given to the real world, I thought that I was doing the right thing…That I was lucky for being able to know all the “answers”.
But when analyzing the outcomes of my actions, all this information did was make the relationship more toxic for both parties involved. Instead of alleviation, this knowledge did the exact opposite of what it was intended for, as it led to more unnecessary stress, arguments, and heartbreak.
When looking at both the self-help and dating industries from a bird’s-eye view, two highly profitable domains for content creators to exploit, what we’re seeing is a dissemination of information that isn’t 100% accurate…And this only makes sense.
How else does one attract and retain such a large audience of people?
By telling them extremely vague lies that are easy to believe and hard to disprove.
With the advent of the internet, the world changed for the good: we now have access to more pockets of knowledge than ever before. The problem in this era isn’t an abundance of information, but instead, an abundance of misinformation.
The majority of content out there was created by people who only care about increasing the number of views and maximizing profit, and never again will I allow all this noise to negatively impact my life.
As of now, I’ve been trying to repair the damage, but you don’t have to do that.
Save yourself before it’s too late.
JL