“Restlessness is discontent — and discontent is the first necessity of progress. Show me a thoroughly satisfied human — and I will show you a failure.”
– Thomas Edison
When we’re growing up, the future isn’t something on our minds.
We live in the moment, allowing our innate curiosity to lead the way.
Life is a sandbox: we live, laugh, play, learn, and repeat.
We live in bliss…That is until school comes.
…
Our educational systems provide us with a very narrow and structured path to follow, and we have no choice but to follow the rules of the system.
We get reinforced to aim for high grades and to avoid failure. We get incentivized to do extracurricular activities and to study for entrance exams.
We do X and Y in order to get to Z.
Class and homework by themselves aren’t fun things to do, so in order to cope with the fact that we’re forced to do them, we think about the future.
We’re told about the importance of getting into college, particularly a good college, by our parents and guidance counselors.
As a result, we delay our happiness until we get to where we want to be…At least this is what I did.
“I’ll be happy once I get into this school.”
“I’ll enjoy life once I get this test score.”
This pattern of delaying gratification persists throughout high school.
For some of us, we get into the college that we wanted and the hard work was worth it.
For others, we get disappointed and are left with feelings of regret for not working as hard.
But regardless of the outcome, it’s over.
We’re at college, so we can finally be happy…
Right?
No.
…
Little did we know, whether the outcome was what we wanted or what we didn’t want, there are more mountains to climb.
In high school, we delay gratification until we get into college.
In college, we delay gratification until we get a good job.
We’re aware that, unlike high school, college is taking money from our pockets, so it’s only necessary to get a good ROI on the tuition being spent.
This means that we need a job with a high salary…So off we go.
“I’ll be happy once I get into this graduate school.”
“I’ll enjoy life once I get this internship.”
And the cycle continues…
This pattern of delaying gratification persists throughout college.
For some of us, we get the job that we wanted and the hard work was worth it.
For others, we get disappointed and are left with feelings of regret for not working as hard.
But regardless of the outcome, it’s over.
We have a job, so we can finally be happy…
Right?
No.
…
Little did we know, whether the outcome was what we wanted or what we didn’t want, there are more mountains to climb.
In college, we delay gratification until we get a good job.
In the corporate world, we delay gratification until we get a better job.
We know that we’re at the bottom of a new hierarchy, and we also want a comfortable life, so we aim to get to the top.
This means that we need a job with a higher salary…So off we go.
“I’ll be happy once I get this promotion.”
“I’ll enjoy life once I earn this title.”
And the cycle continues…
This pattern of delaying gratification persists throughout the corporate world.
For some of us, we get the promotion that we wanted and the hard work was worth it.
For others, we get disappointed and are left with feelings of regret for not working as hard.
But regardless of the outcome, it’s over.
We have the promotion, so we can finally be happy…
Right?
…
Here’s the thing.
I’m fortunate enough to have gotten the college and job that I wanted, and I’m aware that the odds of this happening were low.
But day after day, I’m always thinking about the next thing.
The new mountain to climb.
It’s a positive in that it gives my life meaning, as purpose is found within the climb and not at the top of the mountain.
But at the same time, it’s a curse because I’m never content with my current situation…Regardless of what I have achieved.
I’m still working on finding a solution for this trap, but it seems like it’s near impossible to be both extremely ambitious and content with your life at the same time.
It may come down to just picking one over the other based on what you value more.
I guess that’s the burden one has to bear in order to do great things.
Let us all make time to enjoy the fruits of life.
Until next time.
JL