“Restlessness is discontent and discontent is the first necessity of progress. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure.” – Thomas Edison
If you had a time machine and could only tell yourself one piece of advice, what time period would you go to and what would you say to your younger self?
For me personally, my answer has always remained the same: I would go to the first day of my freshman year of high school, and I would tell myself to never be content with what I have.
At the beginning of high school, I wanted to get into Stanford.
It was my dream school at the time, but I allowed short-term pleasures to distract me from my long-term goals.
Although it didn’t happen all at once, my desire to strive for the top eventually dwindled because I was too content with where I was.
I was happy and “complete” so who cared about Silicon Valley? Who cared about maximizing my GPA or test scores? Why not just settle and ED to College X instead?
The single biggest regret I have was not fulfilling my maximum potential, and this haunts me every single day at the present moment.
The only thing is that I want this haunting to continue forever, as these strong feelings will always remind me of what could’ve been, allowing me to never be content with my life again…
But there’s only one problem with this mindset:
Gratitude is a prerequisite to happiness, but being grateful requires one to be content simultaneously, and this right here is the paradox of achievement.
When reflecting on the past, the only reason I was able to reach the goals I set for myself was because, either situationally or internally or both, I was discontent with where I was in life.
The second you get content with what you have, you lose.
Why?
Because most people are content with their lives and this allows them to settle.
Do you want to be like most people, or do you want to be the exception?
It’s your choice.
So with this dread from the past nagging me at the back of my head, every time I accomplish something, I immediately force myself to set a more ambitious goal to strive towards.
The tradeoff is that I’m not as “happy” as I would be in the situation where I stop trying to climb the mountain in the first place. However, there’s one mental model that allows me to stay sane, even when my levels of happiness aren’t the highest.
As claimed by Jordan Peterson, a renown author and professor of psychology, meaning is not found in the goal itself–but instead–it’s found in the progressive realization towards a worthy ideal.
Underline progressive realization.
I can’t tell you how many times I delayed gratification to achieve something and got “happy” for 5 minutes after reaching that something. The euphoria quickly fades every single time this happens, and I’m sure you can relate to this yourself.
Thus, it’s not ideal to base our happiness off of just achievements, but instead, it’s recommended to look within and train your mind to see the world in a different light.
Either you force yourself to be discontent, regardless of what is going for you, or you’ll look back on your life and regret settling when you knew you could’ve reached greater heights.
Don’t be like me in high school.
Learn from my mistakes, or be haunted by the ones you’ll make from ignoring this advice.
JL