“The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.”
– Helen Keller
Without things like beauty, morality, and love, this world would be a dark place.
For if there was no beauty, then everything would be dull.
If there was no morality, then everything would be chaotic.
And if there was no love, then everything would be meaningless…
When we’re young, we think that we’re going to live forever, and the awareness of our mortality isn’t present until we mature into adulthood.
At least this was the case for me.
When I was a child, I was oblivious to the world around me.
I thought that reality simply consisted of Pokémon, Welch’s fruit snacks, and SpongeBob SquarePants.
Fast forward to now, and I’m getting existential crises every other day.
I’m aware that my current state of consciousness is only temporary, and this fact alone frightens me.
I’m scared because I know that I’m going to die, but I don’t even know what death means.
Do I go to an afterlife or does everything return back to the way it was before I was born?
Do I get reincarnated?
Do I wake up from some type of cosmic dream?
The truth is that we will never fully understand death, so the only thing to do is experience it when it comes.
To cope with this inevitable event, it’s best to just accept death and focus on optimizing the only thing within our control: life.
The problem is that many of us take our lives for granted, but here’s the thing…
Life is beautiful.
There are so many things in this world that are breathtaking.
So why aren’t we all squeezing the juice out of our delicate lives?
Why not live life to the fullest?
Benjamin Franklin has a well-known quote stating that: “Some people die at 25 and aren’t buried until 75.”
I don’t know about you, but my fear of “dying” at 25 is much greater than my fear of death alone.
So, it’s only necessary for us to enjoy the fruits of life before our time is up, but then the key question is: what are the specific fruits one should dedicate their energy towards?
A 75-year generational study was conducted to determine what exactly makes a good life.
In this study, researchers examined the physical and emotional well-being of two groups: one group being Harvard graduates and the other group being poor residents in Boston.
The key finding from this study is that the biggest predictor of one’s happiness and fulfillment is having good relationships.
Surprising, right?
Not really.
Because I know that my life is finite, and given the importance of having quality relationships, this is the specific fruit to focus on.
With good relationships comes love, whether it’s the love of a friend, a family member, or a romantic partner.
And just like death, nobody really knows what love means either.
Yes, there’s a dictionary definition out there, and sure, romance novels have always been popular.
But at the end of the day, you’re going to be just as lost as me.
After my first breakup, in order to cope with everything, I forced myself to think that love is just a chemical for our evolution.
Hey, maybe it is just a chemical, or maybe there’s more to it, but the one thing that’s certain is that life would be empty without its presence.
Viktor Frankl, author of Man’s Search For Meaning, was a Holocaust survivor who wrote about how he was able to find purpose during his time in Nazi concentration camps.
According to Frankl, “Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence.”
As he suffered, he clung to images and feelings that were associated with his wife, and these powerful emotions propelled him to keep moving forward in spite of the living hell he was in.
If there was no love, then life would just consist of unnecessary suffering.
Love is the light that balances out all of the darkness.
However, romance can go wrong.
Love can be toxic, unhealthy, and dangerous, as being blindly in love has caused me to make a lot of foolish decisions that I regret making.
For most of human history, romance was looked down upon for this reason: it made people delusional and illogical.
It was only in the past century when the stigma around romance was uplifted, as Hollywood producers created all this hype around courtship and romantic relationships, but just because Hollywood approves doesn’t mean that we should willingly let our guards down.
Regardless of the stigma, love is necessary to live a meaningful life, whether it’s the love of another person or the love of something greater than oneself.
When you’re on your deathbed, you aren’t going to be reflecting on the amount of money you accumulated or the number of materials you possessed.
No, you’ll be nostalgic about the positive memories you made with people you cherish and the impact you made on the world.
What is the good life for you?
Rather than neglect, let us all embrace love, as there is no better ingredient for a life that is truly worth living.
JL